Friday 6 June 2008

Shock


"Did you make a deal with the master?" he asked.

I answered "No. I made no deal with your master." Bethuel nodded "I didn't think you did" he said and sat down. He was not in the slightest bit concerned that he had heard my voice.

"And, well, so..." Bethuel was struggling, "who *did* the master make the deal with?" he asked me. "Himself, I suppose" I said to him, "I don't make deals, or threats, promises or assurances. It doesn't interest me. I don't promise the shore to the sea or guarantee the sun to seedlings, that happens without me getting involved."

Bethuel was pleased, but then I could see his brow furrowing and another question was forming as much on his face as in his mind, "And are their others gods, should I speak to them as well? Father says that I should worship god, is that right? How do you want me to worship you?"

I explained to Bethuel the truth that eluded him, not much did but I could tell this was something he might not be able to work out on his own, not yet anyway "There are some people who believe that there is one me doing everything and some of those people worship me. There are other people who believe that all the things that happen are done by lots of different gods. Some people don't believe that anything happens because of me. All of them are right. I don't need to be worshipped, I know who I am, it's most of you who are in the dark about who I am, or who you are."

He was still following me, admirably so, "What your master has done is take a part of himself, perhaps his valour, strength, determination and made that an external force, perhaps he believes that he's not worthy of his own power and pretends its 'God' instead. If you think worshipping me will make a difference, it won't, it won't make it better and it won't make it worse. If you do want to make something better look for the aspect of me or the god of that aspect in yourself. When you have found that part, it might be small or massive, try and make it bigger, more powerful and put your attention on that - then you will notice changes in your life."

Does that make sense, I asked him. "Yes, very much, I like that, I think that makes sense' he said.

"Why did you tell your mother about your master being chosen?" I asked him.

He smiled "I thought that mother knew stories about the master because I've heard her whispering things about him to other people, I was hoping she would tell me why he was special."

I went back to my first answer, "Bethuel, when I answered you there was no reaction on your face or in your body, you didn't seem shocked or in awe or, in fact anything, why not?" I asked. Bethuel looked confused "Which answer?" He asked. I told him, "When I told you that I didn't do a deal with your master." A look of concern passed across his young face, "Why would I be shocked?" and just as I was about to explain he added "It's not like I haven't heard you speak before!"

If I was capable of falling over I probably would have come close right then.

I asked him to tell me what it was like talking to me, today, before today and whenever he spoke to me. "Well, it's just normal" he said "I talk to you and you answer, sometimes you answer by voice, sometimes with a picture, sometimes with an animal coming up to me and licking my hand or snuffling for scraps. Sometimes you sound like me, sometimes you sound like no-one I know."

"You hear me, see me?" I asked, "All the time" he said.

This was why he wasn't scared, he knew the truth of god, there was no separation between god and the world around him, this is how he was always able to talk directly to me. I had to take a moment. "Oh my!" I thought to myself, the conscious part of me, the bit that 'does all the talking and listening' to my experiment had missed something. I looked back at Bethuel's life and realised that he had been speaking to me long before he had opened his mouth. This young man was the first to communicate with me internally before he had learnt to speak to me 'externally'.

I did say that it would be an important question.

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