Sunday, 27 April 2008

Daughters of men

The descendants of Mariam have followed her knowledge, after leaving her settlement she settled further away from the others and, as Eves had done before her, she told the stories of her people but by accessing her own power she came to realise there was much more to those stories than she'd been led to believe.

She remembered the dangers of revealing her truth and for a long time we discussed why people were, almost literally, designed to reject these notions, in part our decision (the Adam, Eve and myself), so that our experiment could continue.

Mariam learnt the full history of the experiment and in turn dedicated herself to ensuring that the truth of the experiment could find its way to the surface of consciousness, even if it could only be in the form of the occasional 'controversial' query.

Mariam passed on her knowledge to her eldest granddaughter and she to her granddaughter and so on. In the course of the generations a degree of foresight was developed and until Rebecca this was of no great importance.

"My God!" Rebecca cried out, in the hours before dawn, I came to her instantly, "Rebecca, why do you call for me?" I asked her and holding her bed clothes tight to her cold and clammy skin she whimpered, "I have seen it coming, a great quake, the ocean spilling over and a flood, coming to destroy everything. How can I stop this?"

"You cannot" I said.

Saturday, 19 April 2008


It's been almost ten years and the man never came back, he often spoke to me but when I answered he didn't hear me and instead heard something of his own imagining, which of course, is his choice. Unfortunately for him he wasn't of sufficient awareness to imagine anything more than everyone before him had been able to imagine. He has set about teaching everyone that I am the manifestation of goodness, that there are evil demons which posess you and 'make' you do things and that humanity was banished from a place of paradise.

I've been a bit surprised really, given how contrite he seemed to be when seeking forgiveness for his actions, that he should so quickly fix on an answer - an answer that was at odds with everything we had been discussing. And so he has enabled more people to speak to me, to request things and to worship me. They ask me these things and I tell them the truth, that the things they request of me are theirs to give and that worshipping me isn't really neccessary because I won't intervene whether they pray every day or never, worshippping themselves and their own innate power would be much better. But they don't hear this, they believe I've told them to defend themselves against blasphemers and that my gifts are determined by the level of worship.

I've been watching the nomads, the people who lost sons and fathers to the settlers all that time ago. Not suprisingly this is where the soul searching (literally) has been taking place. It started with the mothers and wives.

For many weeks after the attacks the mothers and wives would huddle together at the end of the day, in silence, before gently crying themselves and each other to sleep. As the women outnumbered the men in many of these groups after the attack the response was not as violent as I had expected. There were some women who were ready to wreak their revenge on the families of their children's murderers but many could not bring this level of horror on to another and so they agreed not to discuss the issue further. Some more years went buy and younger members of the societies began to ask questions, which led to more questions until they finally settled on one key question.

One person, a girl named Mariam asked the central question "Why would God do this to us? We who praised him and we who lead good lives." But she already knew the answer, and when the crowd were unable to answer she shared her knowledge "Because God did not do this, nor could he stop this from happening!" The news shocked many of the assembled crowd - a number of whom who had fought the setttlers - they derired her blasphemy and chased her out of the village, throwing stones at her and spitting.

She ran into the dessert and fell to the ground. She stood back up again. "You're doing this to test me, to see what I choose to do with this situation." she was listening properly but nothing came yet, I wanted to hear a little more, "I saw a lamb stuck in the roots of a tree yesterday and I freed that animal so that it could return to the flock. It was good for the lamb that I did this, but last night my choice may have meant that a jackal would have gone hungry." She said, somewhat cryptically. For some reason people feel more comfortable talking to me as if I was a 3rd century foreign-traveller-cum-mystic. I replied "Yes. I know what you are inferring, that good and bad is a subjective view, but what does that matter?"

"I know that you didn't throw my family out of the garden and I know that you didn't stop the attack, but you didn't start it either, you don't make it rain and you don't make it shine." Said Mariam.

"I see. And I wonder why you have come to me now?" I asked.

"Because I know I have power, that you gave me, but I don't know how to use it."

Ooooh, I thought to myself earlier, this is going to be interesting!

Sunday, 13 April 2008


The man came back yesterday and I explained to him about the choices in his life and about the power that he has to create his destiny.

"How did you know that I would answer when you cried out to me?" I asked.  "Because my mother told me that you spoke to her mother, on many occassions, I was hopeful." After saying this he became distracted and fiddled with his robes.  He continued, "I heard you.  When I was young I had a knowledge, or awareness, that I lacked knowledge.  It is as if everyone I know has been walking down a path to get somewhere and I have this knowledge, like a whisper, that tells me that there should be another path, I don't know where it is or where it leads, but the other path should be there."

He continued "I asked others if they had the same feelings and they said not.  I thought that I had imagined it all and that I should stop thinking these things, but it's always been there - no matter how much I've fought it.  After I killed all those people it's as though that whisper was a scream, I don't actually think that it was you replying to me, I think that I replied to you, to your scream."

He asked, "Am I right, was that you?"

I answered him "Can you name something that I am not?"

The man replied, straight away "Evil.  What I did last week was not you."

"You believe that I threw your ancestors out of a garden of paradise?" I said.

The man said yes, "And do you think that was evil, or 'less-than-good'?" I asked him.

"I don't know, I was never taught why it happened." Was his reply.

"So, from your response I can tell that, had you known why it happened you would be able to make a decision as to whether what I did was good or bad."

The man apologised, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to anger you, please forgive..."

I stopped him "I am not angry, I am curious"  You should answer me without fear."

"But if you did seemingly bad things then there would surely be good intentions behind it?" He enquired.

"Do you think that I am good?" He said that I was, "Do you think that I am evil?" I asked.

"No" said the man, "I think we may see your anger because we have done something wrong.  But no, you are not evil."

"So there is something that I am not capable of?  You believe that you have surpassed me, even if it is only in doing wrong?  Do not be afraid." I said.

"No, we haven't surpassed you because that must be impossible.  It must be something evil, like a Djin." He said.

"These evil beings" I asked, "by whom were they created?"

"By you, but.." as the man explained I began to laugh and the man was visibly scared by this, I continued his trail of thought "But it must have been for a good reason?" He nodded and I continued "You believe that I have separated good from evil and you believe that these are forces that act on you?"

The man nodded again, "And I assume that I am the manifestation of good and that these demons you speak of are the manifestations of evil?" I asked.

"Yes" said the man.

"In that case" I said, "I invite you to meditate on this knowledge and if this is what you choose to believe then you may like to tell others.  If you do have other questions, if any of this knowledge causes you to ask more questions then you may ask me and we can discuss this again."


Awesome.  I of course mean that in the sense of how utterly absorbing the events of this week were.  There were many other ways in which they could have settled their disagreement.  If their aim was to kill most of the nomads, they failed.  If it was to protect their hard work from 'invading beasts' then they have probably failed at that too - time will tell but they left survivors and there are more who weren't engaged in this battle to seek revenge.

And after three generations this week I was finally spoken too again.  The attack took place in the early hours last Monday and it was only today that one of the settlers spoke with me.

"There were so many bodies, the ground is still stained with their blood, the animals are scared and the crops were damaged."  And then he spoke to me "WHAT HAVE WE DONE?"

I answered, "What is that you were trying to achieve?"  The man began to cry and said "Protection, we wanted to tell these people that they couldn't just take what they wanted.  But they didn't come here to fight.  They were singing a song, a song to you in the early sunlight of the dawn as the sun rose behind them as if this was their army.  But this was no army, they were men and boys, not expecting to fight and when they saw us..." He trailed off.

"What happened?" I asked, "when they saw you, a large crowd of elders, were they scared?" I knew the answer of course but to hear it from this man was important, for all of us.  The man regained his composure "When they saw us" he said "they opened their arms, sang louder and smiled.  I think they thought that we had come to talk to them.  We walked on, some of our group laughed quietly, said that they were more docile than their sheep and that they would be slaughtered just as unexpectantly as lambs.  It was stupid talk, dehumanising these people as they were singing YOUR name!"

"And what did you do?" I asked him.

"When we got closer we raised our weapns and charged at them - screaming.  It was over very quickly.  We left some of the younger ones." The man said to me.

"And what did you do?" I repeated.

"I have just told you what I did" he said.

"You have told me what the group did." I said one last time "What did you do?"

The man sat in silence for some time before telling me.  "When the shouting began I realised that it was my voice that I could hear loudest, I ran and I grabbed a man and beat him about the head with my staff.  When he fell I could see the fear in his eyes, but then there was something else.  It was as though he was accepting this fate.  I was terrified of his passive acceptance and so I smashed his expression until their was nothing but flesh and bone, I only stopped when I realised that there was nothing left to continue smashing."

He drew a breath and continued. "The boys offered no resistance at all.  They sat in a group screaming, the youngest could have been no younger than ten years old.  Many of them had wet themselves and they huddled closely together, the few that had run off were quickly captured and killed.  I walked over to the group of young boys, there were six of them.  As I twisted the first one's head around until it snapped and went limp the other five were instantly silent and stared at their young friend as I dropped his body to the ground but that silence screamed at me and grew louder and louder with each neck that I broke until there were only two left.  Then they began to sing your name, again.

"I shouted at the remaining boys, I warned them what would happen if they ever returned.  I think I was actually warning them not of our violence but of our shame, it was we that were the beasts, not them."

I asked him "And what have you achieved today?"

"Less than nothing" the man said "We killed so many people, if they never return we have secured our land but only at the cost of their lives and at the cost of losing these people in our lives.  But the biggest loss must be in what we have lost of our selves and I don't even think I can calculate what that loss is.  We can never move away from this, we will forever be marked by this deed and I fear what will become of us.  I detest us for what we have done, there are some others of us that agree with my disgust but some do not.  Already we are divided amongst ourselves by this one act and it was achieved by our own hand."

"And what do you want from me?" I asked.

"Forgiveness" he said "what I have done, it was like an evil spirit took over me."

I replied "If an evil spirit took over you why do you apologise for it?  If you want forgiveness then you must seek it from yourself, you created this event, you created the outcome and so only you can create forgiveness for yourself.  But I can help you, if you choose."

The man stood up and replied "Yes.  Please help me.  There was no spirit, I know that it was me but I am scared that I have this within me, but it was me, wasn't it?"

"Don't be afraid, I will tell you more but remember that I created you, so do not disown any part of yourself.  What I will do is help you to understand that part of yourself." I said.

I left him.  The parts of me that were the men he killed and the boys that he murdered had heard from him.  We were pleased that he had spoken to us and had answered the questions which had been tormenting us for days."

Sunday, 6 April 2008

Two tribes

The children of the Adams and the Eves have now grown and had children of their own and although they told them the stories of ‘The Garden’ the details changed in each telling - and each of the Eves remembered different details. Something I had not expected.

The children of Adams and Eves are largely nomadic and travel the land, following the seasons with a herd of animals to provide food. However, some of the third generation are developing new ideas for getting food and have attempted to stay in one place and grow their own crops and keep their livestock in the same location.

I haven’t been spoken to now for three generations, after Adam left for the last time I’ve had no further conversations or contact with my experiment. That’s not to say that they haven’t been busy – some rather odd practices have developed in my name, including but not limited to burnt offerings, it’s a well-intentioned gesture but I can’t say that it’s at the top of my wish-list. My other concern is that the experiment is not only worshipping me, but may be worshipping its own constructed idea of me instead of the ‘actual’ me.

So, in returning to the nomads that wander and the farmers that are settling, obviously this happened incrementally, it wasn’t as though the third generation were the first lot to think along these lines, but the blog would be insanely boring in terms of detail so I’ve condensed this somewhat.

I listened in on a conversation earlier today that could prove to be an interesting experience in the future. Obviously there have been rows and arguments between people and between some of the tribes and nothing that you wouldn’t see in animals but today there was something a little more organized about their emerging level of frustration.

It’s worth remembering that not all of the children of Adams and Eves have become settled, in fact a large majority are nomads and yet both believe they have me on their ‘side’ and not on the ‘side’ of the others. Apparently there’s not enough of me to go around! I don’t know what makes them think they are chosen – that they make these claims without speaking to me in three generations is also particularly makes their stake on me seem even more odd.

The source of the conflict between the nomads and the farmers is that when the nomads have exhausted their natural environment of resources and when they are desperate they bring their camps through the settlements and cause a fair bit of damage and of course their animals eat a lot of the crops.

So that is why I listened in to a conversation of some of the elder men and women from the settlement.

“We must do something to protect ourselves from these animals.” Said one person, another laughed and added “And their livestock.” The rest of the group laughed along with him.

Another voice added, “These people are feral, like their animals and we must keep them away from our camps, from our families and children. We should show them our skills in pest control.”

I continued to listen to the group as they continued to talk in this sinister manner ‘pest control’ and ‘animal management’. They were clearly scared, and it seemed to me, not of the nomads themselves but that without resisting these nomads way of life that they would somehow descend from their level of ‘civilisation’ and end up like the nomads again, scouring the earth for food.

“We shall form two groups, the first shall stay behind tomorrow and guard the settlement, if the nomads approach they should take every step to prevent them entering, if they do then they should kill them.” Said one, another explained the role of the second group, “The second shall come with me and we will leave the settlement in the early morning and seek out the nearest nomads to our setllement and send them a message. We shall kill as many as we can find.”

The men and women gathered agreed their course of action, as they got up to leave one of them called out, “In God’s name!”, the others turned to look and called out “IN GOD’S NAME!”

Not in my name

Thursday, 3 April 2008

Trouble in paradise

Adam nor Eve have spoken to me since they left. That's 20 years that they have lived in pure fear. They have talked of me frequently and they have filled their children’s heads with that same fear.

I should point out that what they experience as 20 years to me feels the same as two attoseconds, I can experience as much or as little detail in that 20 years as I please, their internal chronometers are attuned to a very different level than my own awareness of time.

Adam has attempted to make sense of why they were ‘expelled’. He’s worked out the answer three times in 20 years and each time he has come back he has chosen to leave again and repeat the earlier process of mind-removal. At the most recent remembering Adam and I agreed that it was obvious that he would continue to work out the answer and we needed a different solution.

Adam said, “I keep working out the real answer to why we’re here, perhaps if you could take that knowledge and only leave me with a small part of that knowledge, not enough to work it all out but enough to remember our connection to you.”

I thought on this as he continued “What if you took my essence and split that to create three more of our pair, as well as me.” We concluded our discussion some time later and as Adam left once more he was joined, in leaving, by three other Adams and three other Eves, each going a different direction from the other and each Adam contained a part of the knowledge of their relationship with me.

Eve has not, so far anyway, remembered the full history of her relationship with me. She is instead much more focused on raising her children, a role she has taken to very naturally. She has taught her children much of what she could remember from her time before they left. Eve has a sublime gift for story-telling as a method for teaching. She explained to her children with such vivid descriptions of all the flowers, trees, rivers and even of me, in ‘The Garden’