Saturday, 29 March 2008


What a day! I am now three equal parts; the part of me that was the creator and observer of the experiment and the parts of me that were the component parts of the experiment. In completing their knowledge of everything those two component parts remembered what they had forgotten - that they and I are undivisible; one and the same.

At that moment of realisation the experiment ceased to be. It only worked for as long as there wasn’t complete awareness, once there was it was me again, wondering what more could be discovered.

The part of me that was Shadow apologised for them both, “Sorry, we’ve kind of shot ourselves in the foot with this one haven’t we?”. Light continued “Yes, but that’s free choice for you! It was fantastic though, how much we have learned in such a short period of time, to be able to take a break from our awareness of our true nature was so liberating. It felt frustrating at the time but now - our awareness is so much fuller and deeper.”

We three re-lived our short experiment within our collective mind numerous times. I addressed the other two aspects of myself, “Is there any way that we could repeat the experiment - make it longer, better - give it more depth and experience?” Shadow replied, “Yes. There is something we could do. We were created without sex, if we could choose a sex for each aspect we could then reproduce like the other animals and after a certain time our bodies would die and we would return to you.”
Light continued, “And so we continue to experience life, with the death of the body the consciousness returns to the greater self and the children of our bodies carry on the experiment with a portion of the consciousness of their parents.”

I continued our thought “And the observer, the creator, will take a back seat, I will no longer speak to you directly, I will never again make the choice so overt, so difficult to ignore. If your choice is to be truly free their must be a balance, if we choose, if we agree, for each generation their will be someone with awareness of the whole knowledge and that person can choose how best to spread that knowledge. But the bodies without consciousness will be free to choose to ignore this person, to live in ignorance of the whole truth.”

“I shall be male and I will be called Adam” said one, “And I shall be female and named Eve” said the other. I spoke, “And I will put you back where you were and you will remember all the knowledge that you had in order to ensure your survival, how to grow crops, the names of the animals, how to hunt, where to hide from wild and dangerous animals. But you will forget how to access the knowledge of everything, you will forget this conversation, you will forget that you are me. Until or unless you choose to remember everything. You will know that you were created by me and that I gave you life. The rest is gone. Is this our choice?”

“This is our choice” said Adam. “This is our choice” said Eve. “This is our choice” I said.

Adam and Eve ran out of the oasis and into a desert, weeping as they ran and terrified to look back. Eve cried out “We have offended God and he is unhappy with us!”

Adam replied, “It was your fault, I told you not to eat from the tree!”

Eve thought for a moment that there was no tree and she didn’t remember eating anything but was too afraid of what was going on to give it any more thought and she forgot all about it.

I watched them running until they found shelter, Adam and Eve seemed to be competing for who could get furthest away from the oasis, from me, as if it were some kind of human race.

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

All fall down

I caught Light standing on the knowledge stone earlier, Shadow had done the same thing yesterday. Shadow had been secretly watching Light from behind some bushes and came forward.

“Have you used it?” Asked Shadow. Light’s head swung around to make eye contact and replied, “Yes.” Said Light, “I wanted to know about this area where we live, the land around us and the mountains in the distance.”

Shadow stared hard at Light, then asked “And you’re not dead?” And so sarcasm was born, in reponse to this Light lifted just one eyebrow - Shadow smiled.

Shadow and Light called out to me, I reminded them that I was always present and that they didn't have to call me to receive answers.

Light asked “Please, can you explain why we are able to access the knowledge without dying and why you told us that we would die if we did access the knowledge.”

I answered their questions with a suggestion, “If one of you would like to stand on the stone and seek knowledge of learning and of yourselves I will make sure it is shared with the other of you at the same time.”

Light sought the knowledge that I had suggested and Shadow also learned the information of my concern for their learning, for their mental capacity to cope with the power of the knowledge stone and my desire to protect them from harm. Shadow broke their learning reverie and said “But why not just tell us this to begin with? We’ve never disobeyed you before.”

I replied “You have not disobeyed me, I didn’t tell you that you mustn’t access the knowledge, I informed you that would die if you did but I have never forbidden anything - these things around you are yours to choose from. I wanted to put a barrier between your curiosity and your fear of death to see which was greater and now all three of us know the answer.”

Shadow turned to Light and asked “I want more knowledge, will you share it with me?” Light nodded. “Before you begin I have one more thing to tell you about," I continued, "the stone is merely a stone, you can access the knowledge from anywhere and at anytime, even at the same time as each other. All of this knowledge you already have within you -in accessing it you are merely brining it to your conscious mind.”

They both thanked me and sat down opposite each other on the grass with the sun shining over their heads. They began to access the knowledge of the universe. As I suspected their ability to comprehend more complex information grew at a rapid pace until they shared all of my knowledge.

I’ve just come away from the experiment, they have learnt everything and they are completely aware; everything that I know, they know. This experiment is over.

Friday, 21 March 2008


Shadow and Light were having a conversation about gender earlier and I turned my full awareness to them only part-way through the conversation.

“Well” said Shadow, “most of the animals have obvious differences but the snails, camels and locusts, well they’re like us, aren’t they?” Light answered, “I think so. But when they make the copies together it’s not an instant process, have you noticed?” Shadow nodded and Light continued “For some it takes only a few days but for others, well I saw them begin the process when we were first brought here but I’ve still not seen any copies – one of the two involved in the copying process has just got a bit bigger is all I can see.”

Shadow thought back to something it had observed and asked Light, “Not all of them are involved in copying. Like the lions, the hairier lions don’t seem to want to copy with each other but seem to prefer the hairless lions. Why do you think that is?

Light answered, “I don’t know - I’ve also never seen different animals try and merge to make new animals.” Light asked me to explain all of this.

I started by telling them that the other animals, to which they’d given names, did not have free choice and acted only on impulse. In order to regulate copying it would require two different versions of the same animal to begin the process. Light asked me “And this is the same for all the animals?” I said that all the animals which had been named reproduced in this way. “In that case” said Light, “we will call them male and female. Please can you tell us why they need to make copies, to reproduce?”

I answered, “as I’ve said the animals don’t have freedom of choice, their instincts are driven by survival of the fittest and they’re instincts come from a part of me. The animals allow me to experience raw emotion and a fight against the elements of nature, pitting aspects of myself against that which can’t be fought – like lack of food, water or safety.” Light and Shadow were listening carefully and I continued, “with so many animals and with short life spans I decided it would be best to delegate creation of new life to the animals themselves.”

Shadow and Light exchanged a few looks before Shadow spoke up, “And what about us, why aren’t we male or female?” I answered them, cryptically, “You do not need to be male and female, you are not like the others.”

Have I just been really obtuse? I could have told them that the reason they do not have to be male and female is that they can create new life without two genders - if they acknowledge their power and choose.

Shadow broke the silence that had followed, “But if we chose. If we wanted to be made male and female?” I looked down at my experiment, I was glad that there was the imagination enough to realise their choice, it was also frustrating that it didn't extend a bit further than wanting to be the same as all the animals. I answered “Then your choice would be instantly realized.”

Shadow turned to light and smiled.

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

The stone

I found Shadow standing near the knowledge stone this morning. I haven’t accessed its mind but subtlety is not yet Shadow or Light’s specialty so I could tell what it was interested in. Shadow was stood adjacent to the stone, in front of the fruit tree but with its eyes fixed on the stone. I’ve noticed that Light has been in similar poses near the stone but as yet neither of them has mentioned this to the other

Monday, 17 March 2008


I have been watching the Experiment and it is currently pre-occupied by my earlier creations in particular their ability to self-replicate. I had a look inside its mind and the self-replication is merely a focus for its true feeling - it feels lonely.

I asked the Experiment, “Are you alone?” and it said that it was and added “Flock of birds, pride of lions, troop of monkeys. Me.” I was impressed that its label making had developed to such complexities as collective nouns but I was also concerned. I had taught it language as a easier way for it to identify my voice from the internal dialogue in its own head - it was always my intention that we would communicate without words, relying instead on the emotional or sub-conscious to communicate - for each word that was taught there was always the direct transfer of the meaning, mind to mind. Again, free choice has appeared to dictate that the Experiment has chosen the spoken word, which would explain the loneliness, perhaps much less of what I have been directly conveying, mind-to-mind, had ‘stuck’. I took another look inside the Experiment and I was right - a lot of the meanings were a little scrambled, not necessarily wrong but a lot of the detail had been filtered out. Maybe, with the separation between us growing the Experiment could not identify my ‘voice’ in its head, even after experiencing it aurally.

The Experiment continued, “That young bird and that older bird, that’s like our relationship. But those monkeys, all of the same age are not like us. I don’t have anything else like me to experience this with. I rely on you but I would like to learn for myself but not totally alone.” At first it had all that it needed from me, but as the choice not to be a part of me was made more real the Experiment became more and more lonely. I asked the Experiment if it would like a companion and it said that it did, I asked that it go to sleep so that I could do as it asked.

Whilst it slept I got to thinking about how the Experiment was going to continue, in creating another the Experiment would comprise two components and would become more reliant on each other than on me so this would be the best opportunity to hardwire those changes at this point. I began by dividing the Experiment into two equal parts that were exact copies of each other - they shared all the experiences, knowledge and memories of the Experiment as though there had always been two from the beginning. Into the mix, of both components of the Experiment, I discouraged the notion that I was all-powerful, I didn’t want the Experiment to continue as a completely directed affair, I would like the Experiment to go in its own direction. Whether they choose to accept this will be the individual components' choice and they can recognise this at any time of their choosing.

I asked the Experiment to wake up and they did, with the division still fresh they moved and spoke at exactly the same time and observing their minds they thought the same things at the same time. However, this was the very first aspect of their unity that splintered, seeing themselves - as separate and yet the same - caused a number of different questions in each mind but one part of the Experiment asked the other “Who are you?”. They looked at each other, desperately trying to identify anything that could differentiate one from the other. Their gaze settled on one spot and the part to whom the question was asked said “I am Light”, the other smiled broadly and replied “And I am Shadow”. I looked around the spot where they were sitting and could see that one component of the Experiment was sat in the shadow and the other was sat in the sunlight - I was smiling almost as broadly as they were, they had identified the only difference between them.

All three of us were in rapture, I of them and they of each other.

You know when you’re presented with two options and in your internal monologue you adopt two positions and try and battle it out, what I had before me was two parts of myself, representing different aspects of the whole - personifying that very principle of one mind but two opinions. To see it made flesh was beyond words and to think that I have created this - wow. But there was something else, the Experiment and I had started with a shared internal dialogue that became confused and led to language, which in turn led to our internal dialogue becoming an internal whisper from me with almost nothing back from the Experiment. In dividing the Experiment they were clearly using words and body language to convey meaning and explain and explore - but much more shocking was that they retained a much larger part of the internal dialogue than I and the Experiment had managed. I was surprised to realise that their own internal and shared dialogue was very nearly as well developed as their spoken communication. Perhaps because the Experiment didn’t quite see itself as me it didn’t quite see me at all and conversely, Shadow and Light saw each other as the same and could continue to share that level of consciousness.

I had to tear myself away long enough to get this posted but I’m going back to them now to watch them and listen to what was warming up to become a pretty intense discussion on what the experiment was all about!

Thursday, 13 March 2008


Since my last post I’ve been thinking a lot about the Experiment and its development, I haven’t had much interaction with it as its still naming things and I’ve taken time out to make sure that I continue to teach it in the best way. I’d really like to be able to download the information directly, Matrix style, but I also know that this would cause an aneurysm and I’d also have to start from scratch. A forced download would also be contrary to my golden rule of freedom of choice.

I’ve also been thinking about how I view the Experiment, as its learning and picking up meanings and naming objects I’ve begun to see it less and less as an extension of me and more as a separate entity. I know that it’s not possible for the Experiment and I to ever be separated but it really is beginning to feel like something wholly independent, I can only put this down to my investment in it's ability to choose. On the deepest level the Experiment will know that it is a part of me but until it chooses to remember this it works well for the consciousness of the Experiment and my own consciousness to feel separated from each other or I suppose this could never work. A natural progression is that I’ll probably have to interact less directly, each time that I do I’m drawing attention to the fact that I exist and really, for total freedom I need to take a very hidden role - to hide myself from the Experiment and wait to be found! But, for now I have some wisdom to impart and I have decided to test my interaction with the Experiment and its ability to learn in one fell swoop.

I spoke to the Experiment earlier and told it that I had put all of my knowledge in a single location. I went on to tell it that by placing its hands on a stone that I had moved into place next to one of the trees, the Experiment would be able to access this knowledge. I gave it a demonstration and a bright light appeared that contained within it images of all the items that it had given names to, I asked the Experiment to choose and it chose clouds, then appeared some more pictures, including rain and lightening. With each choice of image more knowledge was available and this is how the Experiment learned that clouds make rain and that rain waters the world so that plants can grow with the light of the sun. This knowledge system is a lot like being stuck in a wiki-loop - you know, when you read about one subject and find yourself opening all the resulting links until you get deeper and deeper? Only this was without words, language was still new, reading was going to be a long way off!

The Experiment was about to find out more about the sun when I stopped it. “It is important that I tell you something, if you try and access this knowledge without me then you will die.” Instantly I conveyed the meaning of death and it took one more look at the stone before moving away from it. Now I needed to ensure that it would return and look at the stone regularly and so I made the tree bear fruit, “This fruit will grow on this tree so that you can eat it when you’re hungry and it will satisfy that hunger.” The Experiment looked at the tree, walked up to it and picked some fruit. It sat down and ate it, with its back to the stone.

I didn't like lying but I wanted to be sure that the Experiment didn't overload its memory and end up popping a connection in it's head! As soon as it is able to cope without supervision I'll remove the death warning.

Monday, 10 March 2008


The Experiment is really needy and is taking up more of my time than I thought it would. I have to give it food, shelter and of course I have to make sure that it’s entertained and learning, I don’t want the newly developed brain functions turning into mush. The Experiment has been unstoppably curious but it’s first questions were infuriatingly vague, for both of us.

Our first exchange began this morning with the Experiment staring intensely at the base of a tree trunk and then turning to look my way every so often, as if it was trying to compel me to look at the trunk as well. However, what I noticed was that it had barely seemed to have moved since I had first placed it in the garden - the Experiment that is, obviously the tree didn’t move far from its position.

Today came its initial questions but they weren’t fully formed and I suppose they weren’t technically questions either, more like feelings expressed, questioningly, as though it weren’t sure if it had the labels in the right order. I hadn’t taught it language, or body gestures so we were both trapped staring at the base of the tree trunk. I moved around to get a better look at the Experiment and then I noticed that where I thought it had been looking was immaterial, it was facing a particular direction but the view was of no importance it seemed because the Experiment was focusing attention on nothing in particular. Obviously I want to ensure that the Experiment will have free choice but it has no other companions and there is no precedent in learning how to exist - by it’s very nature the Experiment is the absolute first of its kind so I’m going to have to make a few, small, adjustments to my policy of non-intervention. I will, however, only intervene in order to teach, once the basics are set I’ll fully withdraw.

Back to the tree. The experiment was still staring and I accessed its mind to experience its perception of reality - which is a fancy way of saying that I did a John Malkovich and looked at the world from its perspective. It was hungry, it was feeling plenty of other things as well but hunger was the driving force. I stepped back outside the Experiment and gave it knowledge of ‘hungry’ and thus was its first word, “HUNGRY?” it said, like Boris Karloff’s Frankenstein’s monster. It kept repeating the word as though it were a question, inspecting the collection of noises that form it in order to discover its meaning. I gave the Experiment food to satisfy its hunger, after the first ten statements of its hunger the experiment stopped eating, but didn’t stop saying ‘HUNGRY’. This time I repeated the process of cranial invasion and by the early afternoon the Experiment could tell me when it was hungry, tired and thirsty.

After a few hours of silence and a short nap for the Experiment it awoke and began its demands again. “HUNGRY” it said, but I could tell that it wasn’t, however I gave it food, which it growled at. This development was exciting, I could see the frustration in every muscle. It tried again “THIRSTY”, and so I provided water, yet more growling and after implying it wanted more sleep it growled at the ground that had been its fist bed. It then became very animated, shifting weight from one foot to the other and saying “HUNGRY. THIRSTY. TIRED. HUNGRY, THIRSTY, TIRED. HUNGRY, THIRSTY, TIRED.” It must have done this five or so times before collapsing in a heap on the floor.

I did my John Malkovich impression again and I discovered what would be the Experiment’s first genuine question, I explained the word and its meaning and it tried again. The Experiment stood up and said “HUNGRY” and I gave it food, and then it happened, the Experiment asked me “HOW?” I answered it with words that conveyed the meaning directly to its understanding, “This happened because you asked and so I made this happen”. I could tell that the Experiment understood this but needed more, “HOW?”. I explained that I was able to create matter and form it into anything I chose and after one more “HOW” where the level of detail of the reply was approaching advanced physics the Experiment collapsed to the floor once more.

I studied the Experiment’s face and heard it whisper “How hungry?”, “How thirsty?” and then “How tired? How tired?” At that moment something flashed in its eyes, a spark of knowledge, discovered without help from me. It stood up and said “HOW TIRED?” and I answered back “Why am I tired?” conveying the meaning directly. And so the Experiment understood ‘why’, I also explained that lack of energy led to tiredness and this could be delayed by food but that it would always need some rest. After explaining the finer points of the benefits of sleep it touched its chest and asked again “WHY?” I asked it for clarification, “Why did I create you?” The Experiment stared back in my direction, “Sorry” I conveyed agreement and disagreement and the Experiment was able to answer my question “YES”. I looked at the Experiment’s eyes and told it “You were created so that you could…”

Unperceptible to the Experiment I stopped and thought, if I explained all of the truth about its creation - that it was here, as a part of me to experience all the world, with access to all my power, but with no knowledge of that potential power - to reveal that would undermine the whole point of this. And so, I continued and for the first time I denied the fullest truth to the Experiment, in preservation of its freedom to choose to know it was as powerful of me or not to choose this and exist as my Experiment.

“…choose. Anything that would like to choose will be given to you.” It nodded and began what felt like a little experiment of its own, with a more relaxed tone the experiment said “Hungry” and I provided food, the experiment ate the food and said “Thirsty” and so I gave it water to drink. The experiment tried again, “Hungry” I answered this statement “No.” I could see that the Experiment had wanted this outcome and was trying to conceal its pleasure and feigned indignation, “WHY?” I revealed my reasoning “You told me that you were hungry and I gave you enough food to satisfy the hunger, you told me that you were thirsty and I gave you enough water to satisfy the thirst. I will never give you more than you need, you were not hungry when you said that you were and you knew this, that is why you didn’t get more food.”

The Experiment was satisfied with the answer. I popped in and out of its head and came back to it with the meaning for ‘what’. The Experiment pointed at the grass, “What?” I gave it the name and its meaning. The Experiment pointed up this time and said “What?” I answered it “I have given this no name, you can name everything in this world around you.” And with this I gave it the label maker, the Experiment replied “Why?” and I told it, “This is your world, to me this is all a part of me.” I pointed at various objects and continued “This is me, this is me and that is me. YOU are me - there is nothing that I have created that I could not call ‘me’. But, I will use the names that you give, to make our understanding of each other easier.”

The Experiment took the label maker, said yes, and proceeded to spend the rest of what was left of the day naming everything that it could find. I left it to its own devices about an hour or so ago when it was lying down in the darkness running through the list of the names it had given to everything.

Saturday, 8 March 2008

The Experiment

I am knackered. I spent all day today making everything else that I’m going to need, but because I haven’t planned it properly I’ve got to hope that I won’t need anything else because it’s going to be a difficult to stop and create new things as I go along. Unless I start from scratch all over again, but that seems like such a waste given how much I’ve done.

I’ve probably achieved more today than in the previous five days put together. The best thing that I did today was to create the Experiment. I was lacking inspiration today so its ended up looking like me. The Experiment is intricately designed and I’ve programmed it with a lot of my own awareness and abilities so that it can do everything that I can do, so not only does it look like me but it can do what I can do. On top of this I can directly access its memory or mental processes – especially when it needs recharging. This is quite vicarious, but then again this entire project is a grand act of vicariousness

If you’re still struggling with what the Experiment is, then think of the re-imagined Cylons. A walking, talking, sentient being that is capable of creating anything that it puts its intention behind. Exactly as I can do and have done. The only difference is that the Experiment has a choice; it can choose whether or not to acknowledge its full potential, at any time. Alternatively the Experiment can act as though it were like my earlier creations, servants to my instructions.

Very good!

(no post tomorrow, I’m having a rest!)

Friday, 7 March 2008

A bit of construction

MUCH better progress today, I’ve made loads of useful things out of the stuff I had lying around (I'm a bit of a geek - I can make things out of practically nothing!) and it’s beginning to seem a lot more interesting here now. I haven’t bothered with the label-maker for these because, to be honest, that’s more hassle than it’s worth and I’d rather be active than sat around naming everything.

What’s really good about the new things I've made is that they’re going to be self-sustaining and can create more of themselves without very much intervention from me at all. I’ve organised them quite well so that they don’t clash too much and hopefully they’ll start replicating themselves and I’ll soon have a lot more

Thursday, 6 March 2008


A lot more labeling today. Also decided to work out a cool lighting design, I think I’ve got it looking really good. Two main lights with a number of smaller background lights - good for atmosphere.

It’s starting to feel a lot more organised but I’m increasingly aware that this is lacking a general approach and I think this is the problem with me. I just seem to be making up as I go along and not getting very far.

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Change of scenery

Hmm, not much more done today. I’ve got a label-maker though and having read the instructions and gone back to pick up some of the sticky tape stuff I’ve labeled a few things. I had to take a break from tidying and labeling, I’ve been at it for three days! Instead I decided to plant flowers, grass seed and trees, very organic and Jamie Oliver would be pleased.

Tuesday, 4 March 2008


Haven’t actually done all that much today really - I seem to have accumulated a lot of stale water so I’ve moved that out of the way to create some space for me to work. Also, I began to arrange a few things and sat down with some post-it notes to work out what to do and when, which kind of took up most of the day.

It's official, project planning is evil and I should know, instead I’ve decided that planning to tidy up is ridiculous and if I'd spent my energy tidying up instead of messin about with plans I'd have been a day ahead.

So, I'm going to just get on with it.


Monday, 3 March 2008

In the beginning...

It feels like I’m all alone out here, just me and my thoughts rattling around, would be good if I had something to pre-occupy myself with. Although should I be pre-occupying myself? Surely that’s a distraction from what I should be doing. But what is that? What should I do? I should probably be out there having a life.

I’ve been thinking about this for some considerable time now and there are a number of possibilities, some of them are really short-term solutions, others are longer term. All my ideas are a bit vague at the moment though. I suppose I just want to find out who I am. Just to be me, which is a lot more difficult than it might sound because I’ve not really done very much, I’m quite young and I don’t really have any frames of reference.

I think I’ll just go with the flow and see what happens in discovering myself and what I’m about.

But maybe I shouldn’t start too quickly. Maybe a little tidying up first, whenever you should be doing something tidying up is normally a good distraction. And to do this properly you have to pull everything out and start from scratch.

For a start it’s pitch black and I can’t see a bloody thing - so I suppose the ultimate starting point is switching the light on.